Weakened in New England part 2

Part two - writing a new ending for "30,000 Lbs. of Bananas"

          As the topographically challenging Western Pennsylvania gave way to a somewhat less mountainous experience, I figured this road trip was finally back on track.  I was zipping along at a decent speed, with my mp3 player plugged into the truck speakers, giving me over 700 songs to enjoy. 

          In a fit of somewhat demented glee, I had a special plan set up for my music when I got close to Scranton, Pennsylvania.  I would play the live version of Harry Chapin's classic song "30,000 Lbs. of Bananas" with all the endings.  If the link works, you can listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfFM4Ilt4Rs

          For those of you who don't know this song, it is based on a real-life incident in Scranton many years ago.  Maybe I should have remembered that the widow of the driver in the song still lived in Scranton.

          As I came around near the city, playing the song, traffic slowed suddenly.  It was then I noticed a large red semi coming up quickly behind me, whose driver did not seem to realize I was no longer bopping forward at 70 MPH.  I thought,  "Shit, I'm about to get aced by a truck in Scranton while playing the song.  My funeral will be filled with derisive laughter."  Thankfully, he stopped with a full inch to spare.

          We kept going like this, moving forward at about 10-20 MPH, with me feeling like Dennis Weaver in "Duel" as that damn truck kept trying to get as close as possible without us being able to shake hands.

          I finally saw an opening in the lane beside me, and shot forward a few cars, then humbly signaling to get back into my original lane, but now with several cars between me and my tailgating nemesis.

          But then, everything stopped.  Mid-morning on the interstate and nothing was moving.  I looked ahead--there was no sign of an accident.  I recalled the local radio station for monitoring traffic, and tuned it in.  The explanation was dire.

          The interstate was closed!

          They had decided at the last minute to move up the start of construction, and were closing off the road to all traffic.  This, mere minutes before I would have zipped safely through the section.  We were completely stopped as they cleared the last of the traffic out of the newly designated construction zone.  Now, there were but one and a half lanes.  The half lane was for the exit within the zone, and the other was for everyone else.

          For the next 10 miles, all the traffic in the place I wanted to go was condensed to a single lane.  I was sincerely glad I'd already filled the tank and emptied my bladder.  But then, I had an idea--I didn't HAVE to use the interstate to get where I was going!  Surely there must be roads predating the construction of this one.

          I inched toward the exit, finally getting off the clogged road, and turning into a local mall with a Sears Auto Center.  I figured someone at an auto center must have the directions i needed to bypass this insanity.

          Unfortunately, they told me, the interstate had been build directly over the original road.  The only other alternative consisted of a Byzantine set of back roads that even they weren't too sure about.

          I would have to get back onto the interstate.  Worse yet, there was only one entrance ramp I could use--the one I had just left.  I'd have to get back on at the exact same place I'd gotten off.  Harry and the widow trucker were surely laughing now.

          So, after one more trip to the rest room, I drove back to take my punishment on the Interstate.  But when I went up the ramp, the road was unexpectedly, inexplicably, wide open!  I didn't know how, and didn't care why.  My foot drove the gas pedal down hard as I went, hoping it would last long enough to get me out of traffic hell.

          I passed the next two rest areas before stopping at the third to fill the gas tank.  As I stepped out of the convenience store, chocolate in hand, I saw traffic had slowed again--this time due to a wide load big rig convoy with police escort.

          I sighed, and hopped back into my truck, getting back on the road and immediately getting into the left lane.  I knew the convoy had to travel at reduced speed, and also knew that most people would be reluctant to try passing them.  It took me another 40 minutes, but I got by them.  I kept going until reaching an overpass I knew the convoy couldn't possibly make due to the height of the load, then pulled over to take a break.

          I had successfully passed through the worst of the heavy traffic, but the delay had cost me hours, well past my lunchtime.  So I decided food was the better part of traffic and took my lunch break, so to be ready for whatever lay ahead.

Next: Upstate New York, and Albany!